Muiz: Abi, I have a question. What was it the forbidden fruit in
Me: Oh ok… Adam and Hawa (Eve) were meant to live here on Earth. But Allah set the incident to happen in the heaven so that we can learn some important lessons. Earth needs leaders and leaders cannot be among the angels. Angels are static because they don’t choose. They obey, which is good, but being static is not what the leaders on Earth need. Only human like Adam and Eve have the full ability to choose because they can learn. Sometimes they choose the right thing, and sometimes they make the wrong choice. Like what happened to Adam and Hawa in the heaven. But making mistake is important for learning.
Muiz: Wait… you mean it is good to make mistakes?
Me: It is good if we combine mistake with learning.
Muiz: Can you give me an example?
Me: Look at this spoon. It cannot fly, can it? But if we learn about speed, weight, shape, finally something like this spoon becomes an
Muiz: Yeah, continue please.
Me: Long time ago, when people built the aeroplane, they made the windows square, just like home. They didn’t realise that the pressure up there is very low and the air inside always want to get outside the aeroplane. The air put a very high pressure to corners of the square-shaped windows that finally it cracked the whole thing and the plane went down in tragedy. This was what happened to the De Havilland Comet. So, how do people, the humans, solve this thing?
Muiz: They change the shape to make it like…. half round… circle… is it?
Me: True… then, the shape distributes the pressure almost equally everywhere. So do you see now how making mistakes is how we improve things? Angels cannot do that. They don’t learn, they don’t improve. They just do exactly what they are commanded to do.
Muiz: But why Adam ate the fruit?
Me: Well, the
Muiz: Why did he listen to the Satan if it was bad?
Me: Think again, Muiz. What the Satan whispered, did it sound bad or wrong?
Muiz: Hurmmm…. no. Not really. It’s not like telling Adam to lie, or steal things… it’s tricky.
Me: Yes. That is the point. We should be careful because that is how the Satan misleads us, by playing tricks, confusing us between what is right and what is wrong.
Muiz: Will everyone goes to heaven?
Me: Well, at the end it is Allah’s decision who He will choose to be in heaven. But, Allah tells us that choosing good deeds will bring us closer and closer to heaven. So, we should concentrate on that.
Muiz: Abi, I have this one silly question.
Me: Don’t worry, just ask. Nothing is too silly to ask.
Muiz: Well, what if someone has a mobile phone, so he snaps some photos and shows us how
Me: Haha… Even among us who live in this same life, there are things we won’t be able to get answers. You give a chicken the corn, and you ask the chicken do you want to share it with you friends… You might guess, but it is hard to know what is it inside the chicken’s brain. We cannot ask someone in the graveyard to tell us how is life after death.
Muiz: So, we don’t know anything about the heaven?.
Muiz: I understand.
Me: So, what happened at the school today that made you ask this question?
Muiz: No, nothing. It’s just when I prayed and did the sujud thing, I remember the teacher from my preschool told me that I can get anything I want if I am in
Me: Aha… Good. What did you ask?
Muiz: Nope… It’s a secret. But Abi, I don’t have anyone to talk about this question at the school because it might sound silly to them.
Me: It’s okay, Muiz. Our friends have many different beliefs and religions. But, choose to be good is something universal that everyone agrees upon, isn’t it? So, let us focus on that.
Muiz: Yeah, I think so. Thank you.
QUESTIONS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANSWERS
It was a good
I would also like to express my appreciation to the teachers at Tadika Dzul Iman Bandar Seri Putra who taught Muiz well several years
May Allah guide me to parent my children in this foreign land, ameen.
This is a very fruitful conversation. This how it is supposed to be when a child ask his parents, attend to them. If they ask tricky questions and we don’t quite know to to answer it, bring them to whom can assist us in that so that they know we are concerned about them and last but not least praise them for asking. Good job Bro. Can I share this situation
in my talks??
Thank you Kak Ninie for sharing your feedback. Conversation is probably the ultimate tool that I always use to remain engaged with our kids from their toddler age until now. As you said, just be honest to admit if we don’t know, but never ‘kill a question’ to death because it will only produce deeper confusion and frustration. Kindly share it in any way you might think useful.